Rebirth

My life, to this point, has been a failure. A patchwork quilt of lofty ideals and broken dreams stitched together with self-delusion and failed ambition. I convinced myself that I was doing Sykala’s work. I put on the front and I went through the paces. I now see how wrong I was. Sykala took me from this world, sent a bear to ravage me and collect for my transgressions.

I can’t remember exactly how long I spent in that wretched garden, hearing the thoughts of the living and being powerless to act on them. I have never felt so helpless in my life. Then the visions started. Forests stripped bare and burning. Animal carcasses piled higher than the mountains, rotting and giving birth to disease and demons. They were some of the most horrible things I have ever seen.

Sykala came to me after that. He told me that I had been lax, that I had not fulfilled the tasks I had set for myself. There was no pack. Demons still infest the forest. The natural resources of His domain were being plundered. He would send me back if I would fix it.

How could I say no? My heart’s desire matched with the will of my God. The only joining that could even come close would be with Isanna. I had to return for her as much as for Sykala. Her thoughts tore at me heart. The fact that I couldn’t go to her and comfort her was torture. That I was the source of her grief compounded it more than I could have imagined.

Sykala needed me. The forest needed me. Isanna needed me. I won’t let any of them down and woe be to him that gets in my way.

Time well spent.

I have found the balance within myself and with it, a measure of peace. I know my place in this world and what I am tasked to do. My father would be proud.

I was able to liberate Isanna from the city for a little while. Despite our differences, we are just too similar for me to not know how much she was pining for a little freedom. That I was able to help her means the world to me and I look forward to the next time. I need to be cautious, though. I walk a dangerous line. If her father were to learn of my actions, I don't know that I would survive his anger.

There is another sniffing after her now, thinking to sway her with promises of flowers and a large dog. How can that compete with an entire forest and a wolf by her side? She is too smart to be swayed by such things, anyway.

I can't avoid her and I can't deny what I feel, whether she returns the same emotion or not. I am content with my choices.

The walls are closing in.

The longer I stay in this city, the more restless I become. I long to shed this Cloak and rid myself of the responsibilities that go along with it. Flaern must be having a good laugh right now. "Join the Cloaks. You'll still patrol the forest. We need you." Bullshit. I've barely left this festering cess pool since I donned this wretched thing.

Sickness and death are permanent residents inside these walls, and on the surface there is concern. It goes no deeper than that. People who would allow a corpse to rot for days in the common room of a tavern deserve to get whatever comes their way. When you lie in filth it eventually consumes you.

The one bright spot in my life now is Isanna. I thank the Gods that she survived the plague. I truly do not know what I would have done without her. She is my balance. If it were not for her, I would have fled this city and my responsibilities long ago. I would have fled from what people refer to so lovingly as "humanity." It is for her that I serve, for if I ever were to leave, she could not follow. I can bear anything to be by her side, but to be separated would kill me.

Gods grant me the ability to see her safe. Grant me the ability to clean up this shit hole of a city before I lose her scent.